WE'RE GETTING CLOSE....

Rachel and I realized yesterday that there are only 25 days left until our wedding (now 24). We're talking less than a month, almost three weeks craziness! It's amazing how fast a year has gone. Talk about moving time. It seems like only yesterday we got engaged and here we are celebrating two years of life together. That is simply amazing.

Yesterday we met with Hope's Wedding coordinator and were ironing out some of the details for our ceremony. We have some family coming in town to make it happen on our end, but it was great to begin to imagine the day and coordinating the parts. It crazy to thing in less than 30 days I'm a husband. I couldn't be more thrilled. -theGroom

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Last night in pre-marital counseling, Rachel and I were able to learn a little something about conflict resolution. It would be arrogant of us to say we've never been in a fight, but we have had very few up unto this point (and I'm not complaining!). Every week we are asked if anything came up in the previous week and we never had anything to add. This week we decided to remember one and bring it in. Here are some of the steps that our counselor (Gary Bruegman who is a thug amongst thugs) gave us :

1. Establish a No Losers Policy
2. Heart Talk (for both parties)
3. Brainstorm a solution (as many as possible)
4. Eliminate any choices that aren't acceptable to both parties
5. Pick the top 2-3 choices that are left
6. Select a final choice that is most important to implement
7. Implement
8. Return and revevaluate if necessary

Gary was able to walk us through the argument that we had and how it would have been different had we applied this to it instead of going about it how we did. I have a feeling that if Rachel and I stick to this plan of attack, we are going to have some very successful disagreements in the future (what a concept huh?). -theGroom

BEST WEDDING ADVICE THAT NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR

In our pre-marital counseling, Rachel and I were presented with this advice. What are your thoughts?

I am responsible for my thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviors. I am not responsible for my spouse's thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviors. In relationship we influence our spouses thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviors.

-theGroom

PREMARITAL COUNSELING

Last week Rachel and I got into a little something called premarital counseling. This is where her and I sit down with a person who is going to tell us all the things we are doing wrong and whether or not we should actually go through with this thing. The fortunate part for Rachel and I is that we are with Gary Bruegman who has become a friend of mine. He counseled my pastor, youth pastor and good friend from Colorado. He also knows Rachel's parents and the uncle who is doing the wedding. He is apparently a Godsend. Last week, we got into his office and got down to the conversation (and we got homework...). It was an interesting experience. Some of the questions he asked were name three of your strengths / weakness to the relationship, what do you fear the most when getting married and the whammy was is there anything you fear sharing about your past with your fiance because of how they may repsond. Good stuff huh? There was tons of dialogue and response. Rachel and I left talking a ton so I guess that a good sign. Let's see what happens tonight...-theGroom

CUTEST KIDS EVER

I thought it would be fun to share pictures of the oh-so adorable kids in our wedding!

Ring Bearer: Levi Joy. His parents are Youth Leaders at Hope. He's a ninja!


Ring Bearer: Brody Jones, cousin of the bride

Flower Girl: Addison Jones, cousin of the bride


Flower Girl: Tatum Jones, cousin of the bride


Justin and I have totally accepted the fact that these beautiful kiddos are going to steal the show! We are so excited they will be part of our special day!

Love,

The Bride to Be

Bridesmaid Dresses

Saturday Justin went with me to Lebanon (the city in Missouri, not the country) to pick up the bridesmaids dresses. Exciting, right?




Justin is thrilled to be at a bridal shop.....



"How long do we have to wait.....?"

My favorite part of the excursion occurred when we entered Normans and saw a bride to be trying on her dress. It was pink with ruffles and sparkles....Justin's face was classic. He immediately turned around and booked it out of the room. He then proceeded to ask me, (in his not so quiet whisper) "That's a wedding dress?!" I hope she didn't hear us (and thank God my dress isn't pink and sparkly!).

Good times,

The Bride to Be

WEDDING REGISTRIES

Many people have been asking about where we are registered at. On the sidebar you will find our registry links at Bed Bath & Beyond and Pottery Barn. Bed Bath & Beyond is a direct link and will take you right to the registry. With Pottery Barn, you will need to enter some of following information :

Name : Rachel Tolbert or Justin Chandler
Event Date : November 1, 2008
State of Residence : MO

That should do it. Let me know if you have any questions. Thanks for visiting / attending / loving us. We dearly appreciate it. -theGroom
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Now playing: Massive Attack - I Am Home

PREMARITAL COUNSELING PART ONE

This is the first in a long time for this wedding blog of ours. It's not that nothing has been happening, we just really wondered if anyone read it. Come to find out, a lot of people have and have wanted to hear more about what has been going on, so we are bringing it back. We will also upload our registry links so people can get a hold of those (hooray for wedding gifts!).

Last night, Rachel and I began our first wave of pre-marital counseling. We are meeting with Gary Bruegman. He is a newly acquired friend and old acquaintance from CBC. Formally the Vice President of Student Development, he now works with marital counseling full time. It was interesting walking into the room. Gary has been meeting with me for several months, but when Rachel and I walked in, there was something odd about it. Gary said that for most people, entering pre-marital counseling is the first stage in the game where you get the feeling that "this is for real." All the invitations, all the deposits, all the swatches, all the appointments, all of them lead to a moment, but don't take on meaning. They are simply things done to make the event for everyone. Pre-marital counseling is one of the things that is solely for Rachel and I. No other people. No other appointments. No other issues. Simply the ones her and I bring to the table. It was great though. You answer really hard questions you may have never said out loud (or some you already have). You get prodded and poked and all to help you love the person you love more. It was great in session one. We'll see about 2-6, but so far so good. And when you end the night with Red Robin, what more could one ask? More to come more often (including blogs from Rachel). Much love - theGroom
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Now playing: Trafik - Hard To Resist

ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS

Last night, Rachel and I went out and took our wedding photos. That was a really good time and it was really interesting. There are somethings that are just weird to do in front (i.e. being lovey dubey). Maybe some people don't have that same feeling, but what has two thumbs and does...THIS GUY! And Rachel too for that matter. No one likes to see that in public, so we try not to. But when someone is prodding you to do so, well you gotta do what you gotta do. Good stuff though and the couple pictures we saw look really good and we're excited. More and more of these to come as more and more will be happening. Later peeps! - the Groom

MY BATTLES WITH THE LIST

It is ongoing and long suffering. Lesson to be learned, thou shalt not procrastinate and shall get thine lists done on time. It crept up on me. I'm finished but it struck me with a vengeance. Now comes the label portion. Yowzah! It's good though. Less than 6 months people! Get yourselves ready. - the Groom

THE LIST

The clock is ticking and the list is due. I'm procrastinating (and even blogging about the procrastination too!!!). Not really. I've got most of it done, just some minor tweaks to finish up on. Still, more work to be done. Aren't weddings fun?! Love to you all. - the Groom

REHEARSAL DINNER PREP

This evening, Rachel, her mom and I sat down with Margie Bartlett, in charge of our Hospitality Ministries (and one heck of a cook) to chat about our rehearsal dinner. One thing led to another and Rachel and her mom were sitting in the lobby mapping the whole thing out. Don't get the wrong idea, they weren't going crazy. But once their minds got rolling it was interesting to see it work. One thing I'm learning about all this is that guys and girls are completely different. If guys were planning a wedding, there wouldn't be table clothes or nice plates (at least not this guy). We'd buffet line the thing and have everyone sit at a table with a disposable plate. That's why it's her day (and our day, but HER day). I just chirp in occasionally and help with some perspective. It's a great time! I'm totally marrying that hot blonde you see in the sidebar. - the Groom

AND SO IT BEGINS

Rachel and I have begun all of the wedding preparation and one of the things we have yet to do is the now traditional wedding blog. So here it is! We'll try to keep you up to date on all that goes on and the steps along the way so you all can share in the experience. Who knows, we may have he said / she said moments. Now won't that be fun. Much love to you all. Here's to sharing the journey with us. - the Groom